Author: rubylanzi

The definition of the word ’emasculated’ is; “a man deprived of his male role or identity”. But what is a mans true ‘identity?’ A massive issue throughout society is that men struggle to connect with their emotions as they feel it emasculates them. Not every man, but majority of them.

Above, we have an Advertisement from a man named Patrick Huang. It is advertising his idea about a “crying gym” for men as men struggle with opening up and being vulnerable with their emotions. Men have been constructed by society to put a wall up and protect the people around them, whilst doing this they are constantly hiding their true emotions and pushing their feelings aside. This then creates an even bigger issue … men don’t open up and speak their true emotions. We have all this talk about feminism, which I understand, but what about men?

I’m the type of person to ask anyone, any question, at any time. That’s just who I am. I’ve always asked my guy mates why they find it so hard to open up and the response I get is almost identical every time. “If I open up, then people can hurt me. If I hide my emotions then I don’t have to care about anything unless I know it’s worth it.” This I understand completely but it gets to a point where they aren’t expressing their emotions so much that they end up not even knowing how to feel anymore.

My ex boyfriend once said to me “you will never see me cry, no matter how upset I am. I’m a boy, what else do you expect?” I never understood why he thought like this. Just because he was a boy, he couldn’t cry in front of me? What logic is that? Then it clicked, he thought it would make him look less ‘strong’ and more vulnerable. This is the sad truth hidden in this Advertisement.

Over many years, society has conformed men into a certain stereotype. Men have to put on a brave face and hide their emotions. This stereotype has destroyed so many mens lives, it has stopped men from communicating. In fact, in 2017, 75% of individuals who died by suicide were all men. If this doesn’t prove something, then I don’t know what does.

I think that it is a massive issue, that men struggle with talking about their emotions. We are all human and have a right to be emotional. I always say that I am not an emotional person, because I know I’m not. But at the end of the day if something is affecting me I will always go and talk it out to my best friend because sometimes I just need to get things off my chest. This is something that very few men in my life do. It really is a sad reality because no matter who the individual is, if they are in my life, I will always be there to talk too. Men just need to start communicating more.

This Advertisement shows multiple meanings. It shows that men need to begin to openly connect with their emotions. But the underlying message is the stereotype that society has constructed for men, which is that if they show their emotions then they will be emasculated. This stereotype shows how society conforms individuals, which negatively affects the lives of many.

It’s the 21st Century, everyone is pushing boundaries and questioning norms within society. So, to any man that needs to hear this right now, you have every right to open up and connect with your emotions.

Be You, R.

Here’s the video I thought I would never upload. A YouTube video with me in it. I’m pushing away all my self doubt and talking about my DA. 

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBrRVECcBYs

As said in the video, I am thinking of doing an Instagram page where I give tips on how to improve adolescents mental health using essential oils, crystals and so on. I want the page to be much more than that but as time passes, that will all happen on it’s own. 

This idea is relevant as so many teenagers go through the same stages of life and mental blockages, so I want to help that. I just want to help people, at least one person.

I just want to make people smile, as cliché as that sounds, it’s what I am passionate about. I wear my heart on my sleeve, leaving me vulnerable but it’s who I am which is what I want my DA to reflect.

Be Confident, R.

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We are constantly communicating. We can be sitting in a lecture room listening to a lecturer or catching up with our friends about how drunk we got on the weekend. We are either sending a text to your best friend about how bored you are or replying to a group chat or uploading a status or photo to a social media platform. No matter how we are communicating, it is always happening. Within every piece of information given, a certain message is received. Even if it is the simplest of messages. Such as, if I were to text my best friend, complaining and say “I’m so tired”, then my message means exactly that … I am tired. (This actually happened today)

Being in a communication and media class I expected to be learning strictly about the media and possibly how people communicate and the tools of which they use. But today this did not happen. What I took away from this felt more like a life lesson rather than a Uni lecture.

A medium can be anything, from a form of social media right to the colour we decide to wear that day, all of which tells us something and essentially sends us a message. The message of anything is the effect that it has on us. In saying this, things don’t happen by accident, everything happens for a reason. Anything that happens, no matter how big or how small, is meant to happen or is meant to be a certain way. This is how I then begun to relate it to life, in particular, my life.

People come and go in life. It’s just how it is. But when someone who means so much to you leaves it’s like a part of you leaves with them. But hey, everything happens for a reason right? This can be hard to grasp at times because we want to hold onto something so badly but it doesn’t matter how hard you hold on, how hard you try to make it better or how much you want it all back, if you are meant to let go then life will make sure you let go. In this case, the medium is how they left and the message is the lesson they taught you. Does that make sense? Well it does to me.

I have probably gotten totally carried away with the lesson this week and took it way too deep but it helped me to understand what we spoke about. So what exactly did I learn?

I learnt that media is always changing and evolving which then forces us and our mindsets to also always change and evolve to suit the media. Which is exactly like life. Life is always changing, things are always happening and we are always evolving which then leads to us and our mindsets also having to change to suit our new lives.

In the words of Ted, “everything is on purpose and nothing is accidental”. It’s crazy to me that he said this, because it is exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my life.

Let It Be, R.

Anyone who is a part of my life knows my extreme love for Sam Smith. I would say it is an obsession but it has exceeded that point as I genuinely love him. Every song he has come out with and what he is all about. Then the moment finally happened where I attended his concert late 2018. This was a very rough year for me as it was my HSC year and I hated every second of High School. This concert made it all worth it (sorta). Everything about this night was everything I had ever hoped for and more.

I know that people think his songs are sad and heartbreaking but when I listen to his songs I just feel happiness. Something about his voice and his lyrics give me goosebumps … every time.

I went to his concert with two of my best friends as a part of my 18th birthday present from my parents.

I remember as soon as he came out onto that stage I just cried and cried and cried. This isn’t like me as I am not a crier but the tears just kept on going.

Although he is such an incredible singer and performer, some of my most memorable parts of the night was when he would speak to us about the things he believed in. He really made his audience get a good sense of who he is. Also his dancing, just something about his dancing made me smile.

Being in a setting where there is a massive crowd of people in one space is not my sort of thing. In fact I freak out and hate every second of it. I can be such an introvert and not want to be surrounded by total strangers but being a part of Sam Smith’s crowd was like receiving a warm hug from him. I felt so much love in the space and needless to say I learnt so much.

For the last couple of years I have been surrounded by people who are closed minded and who haven’t truly accepted me for me. I never saw this up until the night of his concert. He spoke so much about how important love is and how beneficial it is to do things from your heart. He would talk about being and living in this moment which is something I am constantly doing. But then he spoke about not worrying about others opinions on you, which is something I really needed to hear at that time and has continued to help me with my life now.

It probably sounds crazy but I don’t think there was anything negative that happened that night. Maybe the supporting act sounded terrible but it doesn’t matter anymore.

I didn’t want this blog to be about me and my life because I don’t like talking about myself. I like to make other people happy because it makes me happy. But that was a time where I was a part of an audience and truly learnt something.

In the words of Sam Smith “good things keep happening” and this couldn’t be more true.

Follow Your Heart, R.

If you want to get to know me, then you need to understand what these four girls have taught me. These girls are my heart and soul. We will begin from left to right.

A1, someone who is unique. That’s probably the nicest way of putting it. She has a weird way of looking at life and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to the rest of us, but that’s okay. I have known her since the moment she came out of the womb and I couldn’t of asked for a better individual to call my (non biological) sister. Throughout the years A1 has taught me that being self conscious won’t get you anywhere. That sometimes we just need to be confident in ourselves and the body that we were given because at the end of the day there are just some things that we cannot change. She has taught me that it’s okay to be alone and not be constantly waiting for a reply because at the end of the day does it really matter? She has taught me how to laugh uncontrollably and not to take life so seriously. To you, A1, I say thank you for showing me how to love myself for who I am.

Next, we have B. She is amazing in all ways, inside and out and that doesn’t even do her justice. Anyone that knows her is lucky to have her apart of their life. B has been in my life for as long as I can remember and is my soul sister and best friend. B has taught me how to love and be loved. She has taught me to always be kind to others no matter the circumstance and to live each day as it comes because you can’t change the past nor control the future. What’s meant to be will be. B has showed me a new perspective on life and has taught me how much love and care one person is truly capable of. No amount of words can describe the endless amounts of lessons that B has taught me, so to you, B, I say thank you for showing me how I should live each day.

Then, we have C. C is a special one to say the least. I have known her since we were little but only got back in touch throughout High School. As much as she pains and annoys me, she can make me laugh like no one else just simply because of her stupidity and how illiterate she is. But C has taught me a lot. She has taught me that no matter how much shit and pain people put you through, you wake up each day with a (semi) smile on your face and continue on with your life the best way you know how. She has taught me that when in a toxic relationship you really are blinded to what you truly deserve. She loves with her whole heart and allows people into her life way too easily. She lives and she learns, with no limits and is the definition of a person who lives spontaneously. To you, C, I say thank you for teaching me how to know what I am worth and how to be treated right.

Last but not least A2. A2 has only really been in my life for around four years but she fits into it like a glove. She too, can annoy the absolute shit out of me but none the less, she has taught me so much and has played a part in shaping the person that I am today. A2 wears her heart on her sleeve and shows her emotion without any hesitation. She is doubtful of herself but loves everyone in her life unconditionally. She has taught me that no matter what is occurring in your life, there is always room for love. She has showed me a new perspective on life which is one that life is always changing. The old traditional way of life no longer exists and understanding the modern world can be difficult. To you, A2, I say thank you for teaching me how to perceive love and to always love with an open mind.

So there we have it, my heart and soul. Each of them have played apart in the person that I am today. Even though I am still figuring out my way through life, so are they. But we grow together as individuals. We are so different yet come together and share something so pure and light hearted.

That is just a little bit about who I am.

Love and Light, R.

We are diving into the deep end this week. “Start your digital artefacts” we were told. Like I said in my introduction, having an online presence is something that I have wished to fade away over the years and now I have to have this online presence and get marked on it? If that isn’t a fear then I don’t know what is. I don’t like having my details online and people knowing my every move. I like to live within myself and live a life that no one knows about because who’s business is it that I’m eating an Açai bowl with my friends at 9am on a Sunday morning? No one but my own.

After wondering and wondering what I could possibly produce as my digital artefact, I asked myself, what do I enjoy doing? Many thoughts came to my head but the most present was my spirituality. But then that same thought came into my head, that’s something about my life that I don’t necessarily want to share with others.

Then I had it. What makes me happy? Making other people smile. I probably sound like such a typical white girl trying to shove some positive quotes down people’s throat but I want it to be more than that. I want people to smile at something they have just read. I want people to meditate because it improves their mental stability. I want people to talk to people about their feelings and not be worried about getting judged. I want people to open up and improve their mentality. I want to help others, if not everyone then at least one person. I want it to be unique but in the best way possible. I want to try improve the lives of adolescents who feel like they have lost their way.

I don’t know if this is right. I don’t know if I sound totally and utterly crazy and cliché but if I’m being honest I don’t really care. Why would I want to create something that would only benefit me and not others? If I were to do that then it wouldn’t feel right.

I don’t know how I am going to achieve this, but I guess I will find my way through it.

Spread Love, R.

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Ruby, and I am a student at UOW doing a double degree of Bachelor of Arts/ Bachelor of Communication and Media

Introducing myself is challenging to me as I do not have any ‘talents’ per say nor have a passion for something when it comes to creating content. (as in, I am not a photographer or a surfer). This is actually the reason as to why I chose this degree. I want to find myself. I want to discover a passion that I probably already know I have … deep down.

So this is the beginning of a long awaited journey. A journey that, I have no idea how it will end. In this blog you will be reading about my interpretations of my University course.

Spread Kindness, R .