In this section of my blog you will be reading my stream of consciousness. This will be about my views and perspectives on life and will all play apart in what has made me, me.

About Me.

If you want to get to know me, then you need to understand what these four girls have taught me. These girls are my heart and soul. We will begin from left to right.

A1, someone who is unique. That’s probably the nicest way of putting it. She has a weird way of looking at life and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to the rest of us, but that’s okay. I have known her since the moment she came out of the womb and I couldn’t of asked for a better individual to call my (non biological) sister. Throughout the years A1 has taught me that being self conscious won’t get you anywhere. That sometimes we just need to be confident in ourselves and the body that we were given because at the end of the day there are just some things that we cannot change. She has taught me that it’s okay to be alone and not be constantly waiting for a reply because at the end of the day does it really matter? She has taught me how to laugh uncontrollably and not to take life so seriously. To you, A1, I say thank you for showing me how to love myself for who I am.

Next, we have B. She is amazing in all ways, inside and out and that doesn’t even do her justice. Anyone that knows her is lucky to have her apart of their life. B has been in my life for as long as I can remember and is my soul sister and best friend. B has taught me how to love and be loved. She has taught me to always be kind to others no matter the circumstance and to live each day as it comes because you can’t change the past nor control the future. What’s meant to be will be. B has showed me a new perspective on life and has taught me how much love and care one person is truly capable of. No amount of words can describe the endless amounts of lessons that B has taught me, so to you, B, I say thank you for showing me how I should live each day.

Then, we have C. C is a special one to say the least. I have known her since we were little but only got back in touch throughout High School. As much as she pains and annoys me, she can make me laugh like no one else just simply because of her stupidity and how illiterate she is. But C has taught me a lot. She has taught me that no matter how much shit and pain people put you through, you wake up each day with a (semi) smile on your face and continue on with your life the best way you know how. She has taught me that when in a toxic relationship you really are blinded to what you truly deserve. She loves with her whole heart and allows people into her life way too easily. She lives and she learns, with no limits and is the definition of a person who lives spontaneously. To you, C, I say thank you for teaching me how to know what I am worth and how to be treated right.

Last but not least A2. A2 has only really been in my life for around four years but she fits into it like a glove. She too, can annoy the absolute shit out of me but none the less, she has taught me so much and has played a part in shaping the person that I am today. A2 wears her heart on her sleeve and shows her emotion without any hesitation. She is doubtful of herself but loves everyone in her life unconditionally. She has taught me that no matter what is occurring in your life, there is always room for love. She has showed me a new perspective on life which is one that life is always changing. The old traditional way of life no longer exists and understanding the modern world can be difficult. To you, A2, I say thank you for teaching me how to perceive love and to always love with an open mind.

So there we have it, my heart and soul. Each of them have played apart in the person that I am today. Even though I am still figuring out my way through life, so are they. But we grow together as individuals. We are so different yet come together and share something so pure and light hearted.

That is just a little bit about who I am.

Love and Light, R.

A Very Personal Post

I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Byron Bay as I have come here to get away from my life for a couple of days. I am not unhappy with my life but I just needed to get away because my mind has been feeling stuck. Stuck on what? Well, I just don’t know. I guess you could say I’m lost. 

Byron Bay is my happy place, I have never felt more content then I do when I am here. The feeling I get is so homey yet so calming and peaceful. I feel at home but feel like I am away. It’s a feeling I can’t describe. It’s soulful. 

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So, why am I writing on a blog post when I am away? I just had an urge to sit and type out my thoughts and to be real with you, it’s making me feel good. 

I have only been away for a couple of days so far and during this time I have come to many realisations, some very personal, some not. They are all quite random but let me explain them to you. 

One: People in airports are so much ruder than I have ever thought about before. When I go away, as soon as my packed bag is in the car and I am on the way to the airport I am in holiday mode. The encounters that I had at the airport on this particular occasion were just simply rude. But something good did happen. The plane landed and I went to retrieve my bag from the over head lockers. There was a man that was sitting directly behind me, looking around my age possibly a year or two older. He noticed I was looking up at my bag and offered to help me with it. Even though this probably happens to everyone all the time, it has honestly never happened to me before and it just made me happy for some strange reason. Plus, he was hot so maybe that’s why I remember it. 

Two: This second realisation involves my ex, I obviously won’t be naming anyone. So I wonder, what do couples do when one wants to move but the other doesn’t? My best friend currently has a boyfriend and she knows for certain that she is moving overseas for a year or 2 because she just needs to travel. He however, doesn’t know if he will move away. But either way, they know that right now they want to be together and the future doesn’t matter, when that time comes they will cross that road but for now they are happy to simply be together with no future plans. So, how does my ex fit into this? He was a very closed minded boy and that has taken me 2 years now to figure out. He was recently in a relationship with someone else (this has never affected me as I was the one who broke it off and all that matters to me is his happiness) and his new girlfriend is going to be a flight attendant. I know that they have just recently broken up and I know that part of the reason is because she wants to be a flight attendant and won’t be around. This right there, shows the difference. Wouldn’t you rather be in a relationship where the future doesn’t matter, all that matters is that the two of you want to be together right now and as life goes on you sort that out as it comes? I would rather be with someone who is happy to take each day as it comes and live in this moment now, rather than someone worrying and planning their future constantly. I don’t know if that makes sense to everyone but it does to me. 

Three: The third realisation is actually quite sad but that’s fine. This realisation is that I am actually really lonely. For ages, I was all about the single life and just doing me, but right now, I would really love to fall in love again. Because love is just beautiful. In saying this, I am happy with my life, I just, as I stated before, am just lost. I’ll find my way, but I also want to find someone who will change my life forever in the most positive way. I always say that I want to be with someone who constantly excites me and makes life fun but chill at the same time. If that even makes sense. 

So there we have it, 2 days in and my mind has been constantly wondering. 

My life can only go up from here. I guess I am stuck between ‘go after what you want’ and ‘whatever is meant to be will be, just keep doing you’. How do I decide? I know exactly what I want but I am way too scared to ever do anything about it. 

I’ll figure myself out. 

With Love, R.